So, things are off to a slow start. Of course, it is in no way my fault. Life has been busy. Very busy. Work, kids, keeping up the house, blah, blah blah. Who has time to plan healthy meals and exercise? Most days I am lucky to get 6 hours of sleep. I love sleep. I miss sleep. Why would I want to give up any of my precious sleep to spend the wee hours of the morning working out?
I tried. For exactly one week, I got up every morning and worked out with Jillian Michaels. You know what? I hate her. Yep. I said it. I HATE HER. I hate her smug little face as she tells me many truths. I hate that she rubs it in my pudgy, freckled face that I have to give it my all to see results. I hate that Anita has abs I would pay for. I hate Jillian and her 30 Day Shred.
To be clear, the workouts were awful. By awful, I mean they were challenging. By challenging I mean I thought death was knocking at my door. But, I did them. I felt great until I got on the scale at the end of week 2. Then, I got mad.
For two weeks, I ate great. Sure I had some hiccups but for the most part, I stayed within my points. I raked up activity points through walking and following stupid Jillian. The moment of truth came when I went for my weigh in. Up 1.4 lbs.
Shut the front door. I did what I was supposed to do to get fit. Healthy eating habits. Check. Workout. Check. Was my scale broken? Did I have 1.4 lbs of extra clothing on that I didn't have the week before? The typical reassurances didn't matter. Sure, muscle weighs more than fat. Yes, it can take time to see the movement on the scale. Of course, I won't get discouraged and give up.
But as the next two weeks unfolded, so did my resolve. A donut here, an extra 30 minutes of sleep there. In case anyone is wondering, it doesn't matter if your Margaritas are "light" if you drink the whole batch. You get the point.
For the first two weeks, I was in control. The last two, I let emotion and poor planning dictate my choices. Excuses fill my thoughts. I am my greatest stumbling block. In theory, I know I can do this lifestyle overhaul. In reality, I am consumed with self doubt. Do I have the willpower and discipline to change 20 years of laziness?
Today is a new start. What can I do to make this week different? To start, I need to develop my meal plan for the week and commit to it. Next, I will spend my mornings with my arch nemesis, Jillian. Finally, I will focus less on the scale and more on how I feel.
One of my favorite mantras is "Just because you break one egg doesn't mean you throw out the carton". Breaking an egg every now and again is okay. It's what I do with the rest of my carton that makes a difference.